I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
