i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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