Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
