Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Semen is not good for contacts.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
