so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
40s are totally the cure
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
