He is such a slut. More and more my type.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
