I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize