I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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