just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
