watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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