garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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