I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
