sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
