Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
