And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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