Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Dicks are not precious.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
