i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You smell like stripper and shame
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
