GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
