You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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