I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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