You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize