Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
