at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
