She's JV to your varsity
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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