you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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