My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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