His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
