I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize