I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
