$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
