i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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