i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I forget how to act sober
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
