at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
