ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
