so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
