So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
