She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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