Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
