I take back everything I said about communal showers
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize