when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
