forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she smelled like a LAN party
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
