2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize