she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We are all done wearing pants today
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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