Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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