When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
