What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
