I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
