CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
