Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
