I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
