it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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