Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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