Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
3 2 1 whiskey
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
