Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
