Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize