Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Randomize
