I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
