I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
