My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
