i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
