goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
