spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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